Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into frozen tundra and then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get an initial Invisalign examination, x-rays, and photos (a $300 value), plus $1,000 toward the full teeth-straightening treatment from Dr. Anil Idiculla, an Invisalign Elite Preferred Provider. This Groupon is valid at Park Meadows Orthodontics in Lone Tree, Beaver Creek Orthodontics in Edwards, and Metropolitan Orthodontics in Denver.

The Invisalign process strives to straighten crooked chompers without braces, instead opting for removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial exam, including x-rays, photos, and doctor consultation, is used to create a 3-D model of mouth terrain, which paves the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths designed to slowly shift walnut crackers into perfect alignment. The total cost of an Invisalign treatment varies for each customer (it can run anywhere from $4,000 to $8,000); this Groupon gets you $1,000 toward that final cost.

Treatment time will vary depending on the complexity of the case, and aligners will need to be worn an average of 12 months before the straightening effect finally self-actuates in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Aligners are only removed when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw.