Yellow teeth indicate an addiction to smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, or swishing with butter. Undo unsightly dairy habits with today's Groupon: for $69, you get in-office teeth whitening at All Smiles, Cosmetic Teeth Whitening (a $159 value). This Groupon is valid at all three locations in Chesapeake and Elizabeth City, North Carolina.

The highly trained staff at All Smiles brightens mouth bones with professional, in-office teeth whitening. Like conceiving a child, each treatment begins with a short consultation, in which a shade guide determines the current hue of tarnished teeth. Next, a cheek retractor keeps tusks exposed as the smile mechanic applies the whitening gel and then sets the cool, blue beams of an FDA-approved LED light upon the naked molars, incisors, and bicuspids to activate the whitening formula and remove discoloration. The 45- to 80-minute treatment consists of two or three 15-minute LED light cycles, depending on how much whitening is needed. After the cycles, the technician returns with the shade guide and a flock of albino sheep to compare and demonstrate how many shades brighter the teeth have become.