If comic books have taught us anything, it's that getting zapped with mysterious rays always gives you crime-fighting abilities—in this case, superhuman smoothness. Let your skin fulfill its dream of pummeling two-bit hoodlums with today's deal: for laser hair removal at AllanteLife, Family Medicine. Choose from the following options:

• For $99, you get three laser hair removal treatments from your choice of the following areas: upper lip, chin, underarms, bikini line, and areola, hands, and feet (a $480 value)
• For $299, you get three Brazilian laser hair removal treatments (a $1,300 value)

A family-centric wellsping of medical and cosmetic wellness, AllanteLife helps free furry features from their follicular prisons using leading edge laser technology. In an epic dermal battle to the death, safe, concentrated pulses of laser energy pinpoint and destroy the unwanted skin strands, then quickly change the follicle’s address to dissuade unwanted hair from crawling back. To ensure comfortable treatment for all clients, Allante employs the bristle-banishing help of the Cutera CoolGlide, the first laser cleared by the FDA for permanent hair reduction in all skin types. Patented PowerFlex technology offers quick treatments and copper cooling creates an efficient method of cooling the skin, leaving it smooth, silky, and free of hairy asteroids. AllanteLife’s knowledgeable staff will provide consultation to determine the number of treatments needed for your desired results, and sleek-seekers can opt to buy two Groupons for an additional treatment to one area, or to treat more than one area.