Ever since humans evolved necks, they have craned them to look at the stars, making astronomy the oldest profession and chiropractic the second oldest. Align yourself for continued constellation-scoping with today's Groupon: for $48, you get a treatment package at Alliance Chiropractic Center (up to a $522 total value). The package includes the following (x-rays and therapies provided as necessary):

• A new-patient chiropractic evaluation (a $135 value)
• X-rays (up to a $159 value, based on exam findings)
• A hot-pack treatment (a $25 value)
• Electrical muscle stimulation (a $25 value)
• Intersegmental traction (a $25 value)
• Three chiropractic adjustments (a $123 value)
• A 30-minute massage (a $30 value)

Doctor of Chiropractic Barrett Newton and the team at Alliance Chiropractic Center target aches and pains with noninvasive spinal adjustments and muscle-mollifying physical therapies. In the first 75-minute session, Dr. Newton uses a chiropractic evaluation that may include x-rays to determine the proper course of treatment for kinked vertebrae and jack-knifed musculature. The doctor gently manipulates the spine to attempt to restore optimal movement during a chiropractic adjustment, and a massage therapist, whose specialties include deep tissue, trigger point, and reflexology, enacts 30 minutes of stress-relieving muscle work on weary surfaces. Follow-up visits, which can last up to 45 minutes each depending on treatments, combine additional spinal alignments with therapies such as a hot-pack application, electrical muscle stimulation, and intersegmental traction, which works to return mobility to rusty joints.