Bodies, like marshmallows, movie theaters, and knock-knock jokes, increase in appeal when slightly darkened. Change the tone with today’s Groupon: for $28, you get one month of level-three tanning and three packets of tanning lotion at Aloha Tanning on San Mateo Northeast (a $95 value).

Aloha Tanning bronzes bodies with three different types of tanning systems nestled in a comfortable and relaxing environment. With an unlimited level-three pass, tireless tanners gain access to 10-minute sessions in the Sundome, inside of which UV rays focus pigmenting power from all 360 degrees and compete for darkening supremacy on the fleshy arena of the human body. For those in need of a more subdued visit or a quick tan-nap, level-three privileges also allow unlimited use of the 15-minute Solaris bed and 20-minute Sunvision bed. With three lotion packets, customers can lacquer up for optimal toasting results or go au natural and save them for optimal Slip 'n Slide results later on.

Aloha Tanning toasts tanners in its facilities near The University of New Mexico and Kirtland Air Force Base. Guests only need to bring their epidermis, as Aloha Tanning furnishes all necessities, such as towels, cool cloths, eyewear, and hula dancers.