Bed and breakfasts supply gourmet sustenance as soon as morning hunger strikes, preventing famished early birds from having to keep Doritos next to the alarm clock or drizzling steak sauce on their sheets. Keep pillowcases crumb-free with today's Groupon: for $245, you get a two-night stay in a queen-size room (a $430 value on weekdays; a $490 value on weekends and holidays) at Alpenhorn Bed and Breakfast Hotel, located in Big Bear Lake.

Nestled in the majestic San Bernardino Mountains and the deep emerald pines of the National Forest, Alpenhorn covers nearly two acres of soothing sylvan paradise for city slickers seeking much needed mitigation. Compete in rigorous slumber marathons in one of the spacious queen-size rooms, each docile dwelling treating weary travelers to creature comforts such as a private balcony, toasty fireplace, and private bath with a whirlpool bathtub for two. In-room VCRs and an extensive video library of every Best Picture winner from 1937–2005 allow film buffs to compare the historic mustache lengths of Clark Gable, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Angela Lansbury. Cinephobic guests can opt to marvel at the different alluring touches found in every hibernation chamber, such as the back garden view of Edelweiss and the tree growing through the middle of Rosebay's private balcony. Gourmet breakfasts fuel lethargic mornings with fresh breads and seasonal fruit, homemade granola, European-style coffee, banana brûlé, and a hot dish such as coddled eggs or apple pancakes. The competitive mountain-man eating continues throughout the day with fresh baked cookies, hors d'oeuvres and wine in the early evening, and various liqueurs and See's chocolates late at night.

Alpenhorn bustles with year-round wilderness activity, challenging secretly rugged outdoors people to try their hand at hiking, horseback riding, fishing, and slope descending at the Village and Snow Summit Ski areas. WiFi ensnares guests in a digital beartrap of web navigation and full concierge and bell service keeps guests from having to lug their suitcases and oil drums of bug repellant up the stairs.