What You'll Get
Let tension melt out of your body into a little puddle on the floor then evaporate. Today's Groupon gets you a one-hour, full-body Swedish massage with Alternative Health Associates for $45, an $89 value. This Groupon is a great way to recharge after a long week, to relax after the weekend, or to detoxify after the weekend to prepare yourself for another long week of designing fuel-efficient children's vehicles.
Soothe and invigorate your body with the most popular type of massage. The Swedish massage incorporates long, flowing strokes designed to melt your muscles, erase tension, improve blood flow, awaken the lymphatic system, and impart ancient wisdom that can be used to select lottery numbers.
Conveniently located in Old Town Alexandria, Alternative Health Associates serves the DC, Northern Virginia, and suburban Maryland areas. AHA's experienced, professional staff are available to pamper you to a state of bliss seven days a week.
- if you're looking for a spa that provides top notch massage with qualified therapists that don't talk your ear off, a friendly staff..., appointment times always remembered and on time then this is the place for you. – Carol K., Yelp
- Fabulous staff who are highly trained and give expert treatments and advice. The atmosphere was relaxing and the prices were reasonable. A true gem! – Contributor, Citysearch
Conversation Stoppers to Stop Unwanted Conversations
One Yelper loves that the massage therapists at Alternative Health Associates “don’t talk your ear off.” There’s nothing worse than annoying talking when you are trying to relax. If this ever happens to you, try the following conversation-stoppers guaranteed to put an end to your unwanted conversations:
- “Are you checking my Family Ties fan-fiction blog regularly?”
- “My cat makes the most interesting series of faces. Allow me to replicate them.”
- “Is it still Russian roulette if I’m holding a potato?”
- “Let’s stop chatting and make haste to the Cave of Ghyzor, where the mighty Alganor is shaman-lord.”
- “I voted for Lyndon LaRouche.”
Follow @Groupon_Says on Twitter.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Mar 31, 2010. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per customer. May purchase 1 additional as gift. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Alternative Health Associates
When Maureen Schantz founded Alternative Health Associates more than two decades ago, she did so with a simple concept in mind: bring together professionals who can tend to customers’ every aesthetic need. She and her staff do just that with a wide range of cosmetic services, ranging from Maureen’s specialty, electrolysis, to Botox and waxing. But their services also extend into aspects of health. Swedish and deep-tissue massages disperse aches, and a protein-oriented weight-loss program builds muscle and gets rid of fat faster than a firm handshake from a really muscular cousin.