Like Bowser, breast cancer is easily defeated in the early stages. Score an early victory with today's Groupon: for $159, you get an infrared breast-cancer screening (a $299 value) and a full-color thermal reading (a $25 value) at American Infrared Mammography in Metairie.
With infrared thermograms as its guide, American Infrared Mammography's staff can detect breast cancer as much as 8–10 years earlier than x-ray mammograms or clinical breast exams—all without exposing subjects to a single particle of radiation. The noninvasive, FDA-approved technology lets pregnant women, former breast-surgery patients, and other x-ray-averse individuals accurately identify harmful growths as small as 2 millimeters, ensuring timely, appropriate treatment. After preparing for the visit by completing a breast-health history form and interrogating a Barbie doll, an all-female staff guides patients to the imaging equipment. The entire screening takes less than one hour, and produces an easy-to-read, full-color thermology report that can alert patients to abnormal tissue activity or unusually strong feelings about Doogie Howser, M.D.