Although body-exchange programs mean no one ever has to stay in one meat suit for long, returning yours in bad condition means you forfeit your deposit. Keep your constitution in returnable condition with today's Groupon: for $99, you get three laser hair-removal treatments at American Laser Centers (up to a $722 value). Apply your laser treatments to the underarm ($722), upper lip ($265) or bikini line ($674); customers cannot mix and match areas.

American Laser Center's certified technicians use an FDA-approved laser that uses high-intensity light to quickly and painlessly reduce unwanted whiskers. Appropriate for men and women of all skin types, the laser zeros in on the hair follicle itself without harming the surrounding skin, like a Soviet submarine ordered to locate and eradicate rogue sea monkeys without damaging the delicate ecosystem. Depending on the degree of hairiness, many clients need around six treatments to permanently keep hair at bay, making today's Groupon an excellent foundation toward a super-slick skin surface.