Like fine marble statues, human bodies must be touched-up on a regular basis lest their surfaces dull, their north sides moss, and their forearms fall off. Mend your life vehicle with today's Groupon to Angie’s Massage & Wellness. Choose between the following options:

• For $80, you get an exfoliation wrap and a 30-minute infrared sauna treatment (a $160 value).
• For $45, you get a one-hour massage and a 30-minute infrared sauna treatment (a $90 value).

Angie's Massage & Wellness's skin-savvy staff of certified therapists relaxes and refurbishes organ homes within a quaint countryside setting. The exfoliation wrap ushers away deadweight dermal layers with a sugar or salt scrub, then envelops fresh surfaces in a clay mud cloak of the recipient's choosing, including the popular Fango mud, while muscle menders massage clients' heads and feet. Those with skin that's smoother and more radiant than a freshly shaved lighthouse can opt for a one-hour swedish or neuromuscular massage. Under the care of doting dermal kneaders, tension from daily pressures will melt away, leaving bodies relaxed and functioning more efficiently. Both of today's options include a 30-minute infrared sauna treatment, a dry sauna session designed to burn up to 600 calories while eliminating toxins from the body, alleviating muscle aches, and roundhouse-kicking stress in the face.