What You'll Get
The world's first phone book was torn in half by a strong man who found a lack of protein-only restaurants within its pages. Perform feats of strength with today's Groupon: for $29, you get a fitness and tanning package at Anytime Fitness in Burnsville (a $250 value), which includes:
- One-month gym membership (a $60 value)
- Two 45-minute personal-training sessions (an $85 value/session)
- 30 days of tanning services (a $20 value)
The certified personal trainers at Anytime Fitness teach clients how to magnify their muscle mass and purge excess pounds. In each one-on-one 45-minute training session, fitness gurus help exercisers set new fitness goals, revise and personalize workout programs, and correct their form during strenuous pinkie lifts. A gauntlet of cardio and weight equipment assists trainers in shaping and molding their students. Guests can ascend a stair climber, burn calories on an elliptical cross-trainer, or prepare for a marathon on a treadmill equipped for iPod and iPhone adaptors. In the free-weights area, patrons can pump up biceps to prepare for wrestling a golem as it emerges from the mud.
Patrons can also take advantage of a month-long membership, which grants full access to gym facilities 24 hours a day and allows them to race the moon as it goes through its phases. When not working muscles to peak performance, visitors can refurbish their surface areas with 30 days’ worth of tanning sessions. At any time, members can recline in a level-one UV bed for 20-minute bronzings, eliciting seasoned skin tones and the adoration of nearby penny collectors.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Mar 19, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Must activate by 3/19/12, membership and training sessions expire 30 days from activation date. New clients only. Must sign waiver. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.