What You'll Get
Like a tree house, a gym never lets non-members inside and always deflects frogs fired from the neighborhood bully’s slingshot. Hurry up the rope ladder with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a 30-day unlimited VIP pass, including unlimited fitness and tanning at Anytime Fitness (a $104 value) in Springboro, open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and 512 days a year with non-stop security.
During your month-long trial membership at Anytime Fitness ($44 for fitness, $35 charge for key), you can re-bloom your wilted health with the state-of-the-art facility's diverse range of cardio and strength equipment. Exploit muscles for non-financial gain with free weights, tone legs on the treadmills, undergo a demanding tour de fitness-center via exercise bikes. Although not included with this Groupon, if the flawed workout plan you concocted yourself results only in frighteningly muscular ring fingers, one of Anytime's motivating trainers can prescribe a regimen designed to help you meet your fitness goals. Complete the sculpting of your flesh-statue with an Apollo finish in Anytime's tanning beds ($25 tanning fee), and then purify yourself of sweat and fried-cheese memories in Anytime's private showers.
Anytime Fitness's open schedule makes sure you have no excuses not to get in shape—unlike its competitor, Nevertime Fitness, which only opens its single Barrow, Alaska, location during solar eclipses. For extra motivation, buy multiple Groupons for any fit friends who motivate you to work out—or will at least be there to dab your brow with a towel and whisper subtle compliments in your sweaty ear.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Oct 23, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Valid only at listed location. Must be 18 or older. New clients only. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.