Like a tree house, a gym never lets nonmembers inside and always deflects frogs fired from the neighborhood bully’s slingshot. Hurry up the rope ladder with today's Groupon: for $29, you get a one-month membership, one personal-training session, and one month of unlimited tanning (a $160 value) at Anytime Fitness. Choose from three locations:
Anytime Fitness, as the name suggests, is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and every day of the year with nonstop security. The open schedule ensures you have no excuses not to get in shape—unlike its competitor, Nevertime Fitness, which only opens its single Barrow, Alaska, location during solar eclipses.
A one-month membership gives bodies access to enough treadmills, cycles, elliptical machines, and weights to make them capable of running a marathon inside a swimming pool filled with mud. A one-hour personal-training session will help body sculptors create a chiseling plan and familiarize sheepish biceps with their new, confidence-boosting dumbbell friends. Highlight the results of this muscle-mass-magnifying month with a month of unlimited tanning, which paints new, ripply physiques a brilliant shade of bronze. After the 30-day membership is up, if you decide to join the gym, Anytime Fitness will waive the $99 enrollment fee.