Like a tree house, a gym never lets non-members inside and always deflects frogs fired from the neighborhood bully’s slingshot. Hurry up the rope ladder with today's Groupon: for $19, you get a two-month membership and two personal-training sessions (a $178 total value) at Anytime Fitness. This deal is valid at both the Wichita and Augusta locations, which, as the name suggests, are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and 512 days a year with non-stop security.
During your two-month membership ($78) at Anytime Fitness, you can re-bloom your wilted health with the state-of-the-art facility's diverse range of cardio and strength equipment. Exploit muscles for non-financial gain with free weights, tone legs on the treadmills, undergo a demanding tour de fitness center via exercise bikes, or just catch up on reruns of Homeboys from Outer Space with the gym's HDTV monitors. If the flawed workout plan you concocted yourself results only in frighteningly muscular ring fingers, one of Anytime's motivating personal trainers can prescribe a regimen designed to help you meet your fitness goals during two personal-training sessions ($50 each). When you've finished sculpting your flesh-statue, purify yourself of sweat and fried-cheese memories in Anytime's private restrooms and showers.
Anytime Fitness's open schedule makes sure you have no excuses not to get in shape—unlike its competitor, Nevertime Fitness, which only opens its single Barrow, Alaska, location during solar eclipses. For extra motivation, buy multiple Groupons for any fit friends who motivate you to work out—or will at least be there to dab your brow with a towel and whisper subtle compliments in your sweaty ear.
Personal-training sessions are by appointment only.