The only way experiencing roller derby's brutal ballet of body checks, collisions, and flying elbows could get any sweeter is if the rink were made of sprinkled donut. Today's Groupon gets the Phoenix area its daily recommended dosage of kinetic estrogen: for $6, you get one general-admission stadium-seat ticket to watch the Arizona Derby Dames on July 17 at the Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum (a $12 value). Doors open at 5 p.m., followed by a two-bout, banked-track showdown at 7 p.m. The double-header pits the Runaway Brides against the Bombshells, followed by the Schoolyard Scrappers taking on the Coffin Draggers.

The Arizona Derby Dames is one of the largest and fastest-growing all-girl roller-derby leagues—second only to the Kentucky Giantess Gals—and is one of only six lady leagues in the world that plays on a modern banked track. The coliseum, one of the world's largest roller-derby venues, offers plenty of space for five teams and more than 100 women to get roller-rowdy. Though at first the whole thing will seem like high-speed chaos, as inked and pierced roller-grrrls pleasantly pummel other roller-grrrls, spectators will come to appreciate the highly coordinated team flight formations and the violent grace of pivots, blockers, and jammers as they hit each other hard, and often. Check out this video for a taste of what the Derby Dames can dish out.

Unlike NASCAR races, ice hockey, and mixed martial crocheting tournaments, roller derby consistently delivers the crashes and smashes the audience pays to see. With the double-header of today's deal, your first round of Arizona Derby Dames will instill the rules of the track, while the second will let you get lost in the action and athleticism while letting loose with more than a few "pained sympathy" faces.

Reviews

The Arizona Derby Dames were featured in Metromix, Azcentral.com, and Statepress.com. Phoenix New Times included the Arizona Derby Dames as a Readers' Choice for "Best Wheels 2009":

• It isn't hard summing up roller derby's allure: Tough-as-nails women (many of whom are of the tattooed-and-pierced bent) clad in fishnets and miniskirts batter each other while circling an oval track and soaking up the cheers and jeers of bloodthirsty crowds. What's not to love?