If the moon were made of cheese it would certainly be delicious, but it would also wreak havoc on tidal calendars, and melt into cosmic fondue after every solar eclipse. Taste cheesy terrestrial delights with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $50 worth of cheeses and more from Artisanal Premium Cheese, on online purveyor of fine, hand-crafted fromage.
As its name obscurely suggests, Artisanal Premium Cheese scours the globe for high-quality quesos, perusing a curdled cast of thousands, to select 200 exceptional, hand-crafted varieties. Specializing in affinage—for the fine art of cheese aging—these cheesy connoisseurs house their creations in five different state-of-the-art aging caves to create and control the ideal climate for all types of cheese. The online store is simple to navigate, with cheeses sorted by variety, milk type, country, and batting average. Customers can dress crackers with tasty slices of mild cheddar (starting at $15/lb.), soft Brie de Nangis ($24.50/lb.), or hard sbrinz ($34.50/lb.), all of which feature a handy page description of its taste and history.
For chefs who already boast ample cheese stores, Artisanal Premium Cheese offers an assortment of accessories, such as cheese boards ($35), fondue pots ($40), books, knives, and gift baskets for any occasion. A collection of online recipes can be found for free, as can a helpful CheeseClock, which answers pressing cheese-related questions such as "Which cheese is best paired with a stout beer?" and "Which cheese turns into a gremlin when wet?"