Without teeth, tongues would slither out of mouths and go on to lead unfulfilling lives catching raindrops and licking strangers' faces. Keep a stir-crazy taste-muscle contained in a gleaming cage with today's Groupon: for $59, you get a dental exam ($83), bite wing and panoramic x-rays ($211), cleaning ($83), and customized take-home whitening kit ($303) from Artistic Dentistry in Creve Coeur (a $680 total value). Dr. Peter Pagano will utilize his 35 years of experience to perform a thorough dental exam and cleaning. Four bite wing x-rays and a full set of panoramic x-rays give Dr. Pagano an in-depth evaluation of your oral health and provide the incisor paparazzi with a revealing, detailed spread. Patients will immortalize their chompers in a set of dental impressions used to create customized at-home whitening trays that are ready for pick-up in about a week. Artistic Dentistry uses natural products whenever possible to avoid unnecessary exposure to chemicals and sentient toothbrushes.

Reviews

Citysearchers and Kudzu reviewers give Artistic Dentistry a near-perfect 4.5-star average, and seven Yahoo! Locals give it four:

• He totally handled symptoms that had been plaguing me for years but were never handled before! He is very thorough and I felt very comfortable. He even made me laugh! His office is comforting, not scarylike [sic] most dentists I've gone to, and his staff are all extremely friendly and welcoming. – tinataratorah, Citysearch
• Dr. Pete has been my dentist for over 5 years. He performs every dental procedure with care and exquisite detail. Dr. Pete takes preventative measures to prevent small dental problems becoming bigger – Sontag, Kudzu