Prior to dentists, humans were forced to shine their own teeth with fleets of flea-driven miniature zambonis. Give friendly helpers the day off with today's Groupon: for $49, you get an exam, x-rays, and a cleaning at Ashby Dental (a $296 value).
Dr. Andrew Ashby and his dazzling set of hygienists keep chompers at their healthiest, augmenting extensive experience with advanced technology. The teeth's one-hour spa getaway begins with a comprehensive exam, where gums and fangs get a thorough once-over and taste-bud happiness is statistically measured (an $87 value). Next comes a series of low-exposure digital x-rays yielding four bitewing dental diagrams (a $63 value) and two periapical see-through photos (a $56 value). Finally, tusks receive a standard cleaning with polishing and plaque removal, giving enamel the mirror-like shine to turn every grin into a devastating social critique (a $90 value).
During the procedure, clients can relax with a pair of in-chair headphones beneath the flicker of Ashby Dental's overhead TVs, taking their minds off the tooth work to better follow the convoluted plots of telenovelas.
Ashby Dental is helmed by Dr. Andrew Ashby, who plies his proficiency in implants, composite fillings, crowns, and bridges, along with a suite of restorative and routine services. During cleanings, Dr. Ashby pampers clients with calming perks, including access to in-chair headphones that soundtrack overhead television sets. The office also keeps clients healthy and informed with digital, low-exposure x-rays that emit less radiation than the vast majority of traditional machines or super villains' home planets.