Even the most unrepentant nudist will keep a few pieces of modest finery on hand for the occasional bar mitzvah or traffic-court date. Today's Groupon spruces up dishabille gentlemen and gentlewomen with custom threads: for $600, you get a complete men's or women's suit package from Astor & Black Custom Clothiers. The package includes one custom cashmere or wool-blend Super-130's suit (an $850 value), two custom shirts (a $135 value each), and two neckties (an $85 value each) (up to a $1,290 total value). For women, the two neckties can be replaced with an additional shirt. Your Groupon also includes a fit consultation with one of Astor & Black's professional tailors at your home or office.
The professional body bedeckers at Astor & Black hand-make customized garments with luxurious fabrics and meticulous handiwork. Astor & Black's clients include Portland Trailblazers center Greg Oden, Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Anthony Gonzalez, and ESPN correspondent Justin Gimelstob, to name just a few. The suits feature 100% natural horn buttons, hand-picked stitching on all seams, in-jacket sweat shields, silk linings, and complex ciphers from British secret-service agents. All shirts and ties are created by hand according to exact customer specifications and personal taste. Each shirt is customizable with 47 styles of monogramming, 25 collar styles, 11 cuff options, silk lining with a matching pocket square, 13 shirt-pocket modes, and a partridge greedily devouring a pear tree. Only the finest Egyptian, Sea Island, Italian, and Swiss cottons are used in shirt construction.
Astor & Black treats each client as if clients were an endangered species and this particular client were the last egg-bearing client left in North America, resulting in oddly dedicated but unquestionably excellent service. Incredible attention is paid to every detail, and everything is produced using only the finest materials. For an additional charge, Groupon holders can upgrade to a tuxedo or higher-end fabrics.