Since cheetah-shoes don't yet exist and a tree stump with a saddle on it is hopelessly immobile, bicycles remain the best way to tour a city. See the sights in two-wheeled fashion with today's Groupon: for $15, you get a three-hour tour from Authentic New Orleans History Bicycle Tours (a $30 value).

Vincent Catalanotto, the licensed guide of Authentic New Orleans History Bicycle Tours, leads curious cyclists around the little-known sites of his illustrious city while spinning yarns about its history. On provided cruiser bicycles, up to four tour-takers start and end their journey at Louisiana Music Factory in the French Quarter, pedaling to the American Sector and back while making intimidating motorcycle noises with their mouths. Riding through the French Quarter, Vincent tells about Jackson Square and the French Market, where Native Americans once traded pelts and other valuable goods, and which now houses shops, restaurants, and a farmers' market. Vincent also shares tales about New Orleans’ “mayor” of Storyville, tension between the French and Americans, and the first Mardi Gras ball in 1857, as he delivers detailed history ranging from the 1600s to present-day New Orleans, as well as the future New Orleans that will be powered solely by running hamsters.

The tour makes several 5- to 10-minute stops in shaded areas for bikers to reenergize. Because this tour sends bikes down city streets, it is not recommended for the novice bicyclist. Authentic New Orleans History Bicycle Tours provides skull-protecting helmets and hydration-providing, goldfish-protecting water to pedalers.