$189 In-Office Teeth Whitening, Take-home Whitening Kit, Polishing, Exam, and X-ray from Avalon Dental ($770 value)

Avalon Dental

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What You'll Get

Jump to: Human Weakness: Tusk-Lack

Score sparkling tusks with today’s mouthy Groupon. For $189, the smile savers at Avalon Dental will whiten, examine, x-ray, and polish your teeth, then leave you with a custom-fitted whitening tray for maintaining smile perfection, a $770 value. Additionally, you’ll receive $50 off any restorative service (fillings, crowns, bridges) valued at $100 or more.

Whether you’re posing with a shopping-mall Santa or the woman you suspect may be Melanie Griffith, the pending holiday season promises plenty of opportunities to showcase a smile. Allow Avalon’s expert team to administer the preventative and whitening procedures and tune up teeth in time for the flash-happiest season.

Before your in-office whitening begins, your teeth will be examined, x-rayed, and polished to remove oral crud. Then a dental technician will use a special light and Sapphire whitening gel (a Rembrandt product) to make your grin on average 10 shades whiter. Avalon will also fit your mouth-knives with a tailored tray and provide you with whitening gel. At home, you can continue your grin-enhancing by using take-home goodies for 15 minutes each day or overnight.

A pretty smile is the worm-baited hook for humans, instantly attracting and encouraging strangers, friends, and potential paramours. After months of teeth-rotting splurges (overdosing on candy corn, caramel apples, and sugar-covered computer keyboards), this Groupon will restore luster to your grayish grin. Get this Groupon as a passive-aggressive present for scraggle tooths, non-smilers, or friends with a voracious sugar addiction.

Human Weakness: Tusk-Lack

Human teeth have evolved into a sophisticated set of food chewers, but we lack the best type of teeth in the animal kingdom: tusks. Tusked animals are predicted to take over the planet with their elongated teeth sometime in the next decade. Here’s what you need to know about these tusked-beasts:

Boars: Known as the “treasurers” of the animal kingdom, they grind their tusks together to produce sharp edges in order to dig their labyrinthine, underground salt mines.
Elephants: These dim-witted animals are said to “never forget,” mostly because humans constantly forget to come up with a more accurate description of elephants.
Walruses: Their lives are horrible because their relatively simple brains can only experience hunger and regret. Walrus tusks are filled with gold but are not valuable because it’s curse-gold.

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The Fine Print

Promotional value expires Nov 17, 2010. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Appointment required. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.

About Avalon Dental

Avalon Dental

Dental, Dentist, Teeth Cleaning
By purchasing this deal you'll unlock points which can be spent on discounts and rewards. Every 5,000 points can be redeemed for $5 Off your next purchase.