Massage was developed by NASA to help astronauts cope with edgy Tang-induced sugar highs, lack of ESPN, and predatory aliens stowed in the hangar bay. Achieve its soothing effects outside the soul-crushing abyss of outer space with today’s deal: for $15, you get one 30-minute massage (a $35 value) or two chair massages (a $36 value) at Awakenings Massage on the Northwest side. Alternatively, you can apply the $36 value of the Groupon toward a more expensive massage and pay the difference.
Awakenings' staff of muscle manipulators focuses on alternative massage therapies to relax clients in an education-oriented environment. Like instructors pairing student whale-riders with whales, the therapists will match each 30-minute massage with a client’s comfort levels and tolerance for seaweed, giving background on massage choices, answering questions, and adjusting drapery and clothing options. Services offered include the toxin-releasing shiatsu modality and the universal energy-balancing reiki treatment, as well as the standard Swedish method used during the 15-minute chair massage. For an additional $10, you can upgrade your massage with a hot stone treatment, which is only superseded in the ability to soothe, relax, and comfort your body by a frozen meatball treatment.