The burden of aches and pains makes it impossible for humans to run as fast as cheetahs, which is why the human diet is virtually devoid of gazelle meat. Keep fast food from getting away with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get $125 worth of spa services at Balensi’s Institute Skin Care & Spa in Chula Vista.

The licensed aestheticians at Balensi’s gently wash away anxiety and refresh fading facades with soothing skin treatments and stress-melting massages. Choose from a range of spa services, including enzyme peels, which employ extracts from fruits such as cherry, mango, and apple to rejuvenate skin damaged by sun exposure, acne, and pickled-pepper food fights ($85–$90). Reward your face for a solitaire hand well concealed with a European facial, which gently massages the visage, neck, and shoulders with a cream matched to individual skin type and softens rough-and-tumble countenances with a Swiss-formula mask ($85).

Torsos envious of their upstairs neighbors will tingle with glee under the gliding touch of a Swedish massage ($75) and will smile from pec to pec during the muscle-relaxing hot stone therapy ($85).

Spa services at Balensi’s are held in a quaint cottage built in 1910 and remodeled with French-Mediterranean accents. The feng-shui-filled facility incorporates honey-hued treatment rooms, sun-splashed patio space, and a lush, gremlin-free garden.

Reviews

Eleven SpaFinders and 15 Yelpers give Balensi’s Institute Skin Care & Spa an average of 4.5 stars:

• The owner and staff are so wonderful and friendly. I have had messages and facials and loved every moment of it. – TraceyJ, SpaFinder
• I left feeling happy and satisfied. – Drea L., Yelp, 6/3/09