You're probably thinking, "That sounds great, but I've never bought a car or a computer without first reading the Wikipedia definitions for car and computer—I'm not about to buy a Groupon either without a briefing." Well, neither would we, and since this is everyone's first Groupon, allow us to briefly explain how it works.
How Groupon Works
Groupon is a combination of the words group and coupon. Each day, we offer an unbeatable deal on the best of Fresno: restaurants, spas, sporting events, theater, and more. By promising businesses a minimum number of customers, we get discounts you won't find anywhere else. We call it "collective buying power."
If you want to get the deal, just click BUY before the offer ends at midnight. If the minimum number of people (25 for today's deal) sign up by the end of the day, you'll get a printable gift certificate in your inbox the next morning that you can use whenever you want (well, at least until the deal expires—today's expires in one year). If not enough people join, no one gets the deal (and you won't be charged), so invite your friends to make sure you get the discount!
It's nice to wake up to something new every day. Some people get their daily fix from desk calendars with a cute puppy and a funny caption every morning. Groupon is like a desk calendar, except the puppy is an unbeatable discount and the funny caption is a profound reflection on the flowers and needles growing from life's cactus. We selflessly share our deep insights, hoping that you will join our mob of consumers, thus strengthening our collective buying power and commanding even better deals.
Galileo faced trial after absurdly proposing that the world was in fact round and not a flat, fluffy, scrumptious flapjack. Challenge this unfounded hypothesis with today's deal. For $8, you get $20 worth of home-cooked breakfast and lunch options at Batter Up Pancakes. This eatery serves up breakfast and lunch Tuesday through Sunday from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Start the day off on the solid cylindrical foundation of a buttermilk short stack ($5.95), then build skyward with over 20 constructive toppings, such as load-bearing bananas, sturdy sausages, or insulating spinach ($1 or market price per topping). Armed with a spatula and a dream (and a shank they keep in their right boot), Batter Up's chefs craft batter-based discs from scratch—an ethereal, hallucinogenic substance that can take the form of buttermilk or remixed whole-grain cornmeal. You can also specially request pure, grade A syrup directly from the satisfied stomachs of Vermont's nurturing maple trees ($1.59 for 2 ounces).
Full plates and omelettes are served up as well, giving oversized eyes and stomachs a chance to steadily take in the famed Grand Slam Challenge—a platter of 10 scrambled eggs with four chosen toppings served on a bed of country potatoes and cheeses all resting atop a 25-ounce buttermilk pancake ($32.99). Aside from offering a bountiful breakfast, Batter Up also serves up made-to-order half and whole sandwiches ($4.95–$7.95), compilable burgers (starting at $6.79), and combinable salads ($3.95–$6.95) for the lunch crowd.
Because blowing bubbles in milk is as grossly rude as it is incredibly entertaining, Batter Up offers children complimentary soap-bubble blowers as an inoffensive alternative. Parents can join in the fun by crafting masterpieces and/or elaborate Byzantine frescoes in sidewalk chalk outdoors while waiting for their flapjack feast to arrive. On a clear day, fortunate customers might even catch a glimpse of the owners' grandson, Benson, who was born with an eerie resemblance to the restaurant's logo.
Pleasantly overwhelmed by the monster portions, Kristen Rosenthal of the Feather gives Batter Up Pancakes four stars. Yelpers agree, while 80% of Urbanspooners flip for the flapjacks. Three Yahoo! Locals give the breakfast spot a perfect five stars.
- For a good breakfast and a terrific family atmosphere, Batter Up Pancakes serves the best you can get. – Kristen Rosenthal, Feather
- This little gem of a restaurant features some fabulous breakfast food. A basic menu with lots of special add ons. The staff is friendly and the place is clean! – Fresno Native, Yahoo! Local
- It's not that often I go to a restaurant where the food and the people are so good you just can't wait for another day just so you can go back and visit again… – Charles Farr, Urbanspoon