Although tattered ragamuffins with gambling hands are prone to dining with the fishes, it's the esteemed members of land-society who dine atop the fishes. Merge seafaring and supping proclivities with today's Groupon to Queen of Excelsior. Choose from 15 options, all of which include tax and fees:

• For $18, you get a Pirate cruise on Saturday, August 6 (a $36.65 value).
• For $18, you get a Cowboy Country cruise on Friday, August 26 (a $37.91 value).
• For $17, you get a Day Picnic cruise on Saturday, Sept. 10 (up to a $33.18 value).
• For $17, you get a Day Picnic cruise on Saturday, Sept. 17 (up to a $33.18 value).
• For $17, you get a Day Picnic cruise on Saturday, Sept. 24 (up to a $33.18 value).
• For $18, you get a Brunch cruise on Sunday, Sept. 11 (up to a $35.55 value).
• For $18, you get a Brunch cruise on Sunday, Sept. 18 (up to a $35.55 value).
• For $18, you get a Brunch cruise on Sunday, Sept. 25 (up to a $35.55 value).
• For $18, you get a Margaritaville cruise on Friday, Sept. 9 (up to a $35.55 value).
• For $18, you get a Margaritaville cruise on Friday, Sept. 16 (up to a $35.55 value).
• For $18, you get a Margaritaville cruise on Friday, Sept. 23 (up to a $35.55 value).
• For $18, you get a Margaritaville cruise on Friday, Sept. 30 (up to a $35.55 value).
• For $23, you get a Sunset cruise on Saturday, Sept. 10 (up to a $43.86 value).
• For $23, you get a Sunset cruise on Saturday, Sept. 17 (up to a $43.86 value).
• For $23, you get a Sunset cruise on Saturday, Sept. 24 (up to a $43.86 value).

Weekly themed and specialty cruises ferry sightseers around scenic Lake Minnetonka on the amenity-laced Queen of Excelsior I and Queen of Excelsior II. Perfect for a romantic date or an aggressively platonic outing with an attractive friend, the cruises offer passengers a changing menu as well as drink specials at the cash bar. The Margaritaville cruise from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. tickles ears with the tunes of Jimmy Buffett and Caribbean music while mojitos, rum flights, and margaritas loosen up jawbones for parrothead harmonizing.

Grilled fare such as brats and burgers fills tummies on the Picnic cruise, and the Brunch cruise blends morning and afternoon appetite satisfiers such as waffles, chicken, and fresh fruit. Aspiring buccaneers can clamber aboard for the Pirate cruise, which indulges rogue sailors in a night of pillaging and plundering; do-si-doing cattle hands, however, will want to wait a few more days for the Cowboy Country cruise and dance to the tune of live country music. Mix dusk's soft elegance with a luxurious four-course dinner on the Sunset cruise from 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m., which pampers the tongue with delicacies such as jumbo shrimp and filet mignon as the sun changes from yellow to red to purple, like an immature Pac-Man holding his breath to prove a point.

All cruises depart from the Excelsior Municipal docks except the Pirate and Cowboy Country cruise, which depart from the BayView Event Center.