Tooth discoloration can either occur over time from drinking coffee each morning or immediately from growling at a squid. Skip out on the consequences with today's Groupon: for $79, you get an in-office Gold-level laser teeth-whitening treatment at Beaming White Advanced Teeth Whitening (a $199 value).

When in the hands of an experienced dental expert, Beaming White's ultramodern laser technology can help mouthbones achieve enamel excellence by brightening pearly whites' in less than an hour. During the in-office treatment, patients first coat their own enamel in hydrogen peroxide before skilled technicians flip on a cold blue light that activates both the treatment and a crime-fighting robot. The expert soaks chompers for 15–20 minutes and repeats the process for a whiter sheen that surfaces soon after the treatment. The teeth-blanching procedure erases stains caused by drinking coffee, sipping red wine, and chewing sticks of butter, and takes approximately 7–10 days to reach its full potential. Groupon holders will also receive a 50% discount on a Forever White touch-up pen and can upgrade their Gold-level treatment to include an additional 15- to 20-minute whitening session for $30 (a $100 value).