Dirty clothes are traditionally worn only by grungy rock stars, vagabonds, and royals pretending to be "regular people" for the purpose of understanding life outside castle walls. If you don't fit into one of these categories, pick up today's Groupon: for $15, you get $30 worth of dry cleaning at Beechwood, Lakewood, or Zeeland Dry Cleaners in Holland and Zeeland.

A glowing neon clothes hanger in the sanitation station's window guides garments like the North Star, leading them toward professional pressing, cleaning, and repairing services. Locally-owned Beechwood Dry Cleaners boasts nearly three decades of apparel absolving in three locations around the Holland area, cleansing pants ($5.50) and suits ($10.50) into dirt-free docility. Customers can schlep stockpiles of guacamole-stained dresses from enthusiastic food fights ($10) or mortar-smudged comforters from last night's pillow fort construction to any of the three locations ($22–$30). Purchasers will set up an account with the cleaners, allowing the amount of their Groupon to be applied over multiple visits if needed.