An unkempt coiffure is not only unsightly but also hazardous to one's health, as it attracts dive-bombing ostriches that are perched atop tall eucalyptus trees. Avoid nest-defending fowls with today's Groupon: for $30, you get $60 worth of hair and scalp services at Before & After The Hair Salon, which is located in Southaven and open Wednesday through Saturday.

At the top of Before & After's bill of split-end enders is hairstylist and founder Jeanette Story, who offers clients a heap of healthy hair services using KeraCare and Nioxin products. Downhill unicyclists can achieve supreme aerodynamics by taking a little off the sides with a haircut ($15 for men, $20 for women). The Nioxin renew treatment ($30) restores scalp health and hair strength to let humans experience natural cranial smoothness normally reserved for newborn porpoises. See here for a full list of services and prices, and then schedule an appointment online.