In the Dark Ages, people cleansed themselves of slings and arrows with outrageous fortunes, soaking themselves in baths of Fabergé-egg-infused gold doubloons. Revel in more affordable and effective treatments with today's Groupon: for $60, you get a one-hour Swedish massage and a one-hour luxury facial at Bernard's Salon & Spa ($135 value). This Groupon can be redeemed at your choice of Bernard's Salon & Spa locations in Cherry Hill or Marlton.
Bernard's Salon & Spa's massage therapist starts things off by clearing the cobwebs from your body-attics with a one-hour Swedish massage. The flowing strokes and gently percussive chop-chops down the back get your meat-machinery's internal gears going again, eliminating toxins and circulating oxygen. Your corpus will vacate the massage table feeling relaxed and rejuvenated, as if it had spent the hour under the breeze-kissed warmth of the Antarctic sun getting trampled by adorable baby penguins. What those 60 minutes do for the body, the one-hour luxury facial does for the face. Bernard's adept aestheticians will exfoliate dead skin cells from the body and bury them in unmarked graves, and pores will be cleansed and potential acne alpine ranges extracted before they blossom into bumpy bluffs of bad skin.
Bernard's Salon & Spa's simple and bright interiors promise a comfortable respite away from the stress and jackhammer-on-glass clamor of your job at the world's top glass-jackhammering consortium, Pointless Enterprises. Bernard's success has even caught the attention of closed-circuit TV station MSNBC. Use today's Groupon to discover why Philadelphia skins are growing secondary mouths just so they can rave about Bernard's Salon & Spa. Call ahead to schedule your appointment.
Bernard's Salon & Spa was featured on MSNBC, The 10! Show, CBS, and more. Though some reviewers have qualms about the front-desk service, many are enthused by the actual spa treatments. Seven Yelpers give Bernard's 3.5 stars, and Insider Pages users give it three:
Bernard’s Salon and Spa
Chic, light-filled confines replete with tall mirrors and an elegant white-and-brown color scheme welcome clients into Bernard’s Salon and Spa. The modern, opulent look of the space hints at a rich line of products used in-house, including Dermalogica and Unite. Ultramodern hairstyling and European hair-coloring services make use of these hair-buttressing serums to enliven tresses with fresh looks, and one-hour blow-outs leave strands more polished than the aftermath of two olive-oil trucks colliding on freshly waxed bowling-alley lanes. To attend to nonhairdocentric concerns, Bernard’s staff shows clients to private treatment rooms for massage, waxing, and facial services. The savvy team helps both spa and salon clients extend the lives of their services by recommending the proper products to take home or by encasing them in bubble-wrap cocoon.