Before the advancement of modern bicycle medicine, bikes could only be repaired by sawing off their faulty components and replacing them with crude wooden parts. Avoid riding a peg-legged cruiser with today’s Groupon: for $20, you get a complete bicycle tune-up at the Bicycle Clinic (up to a $40 value).
The Bicycle Clinic nurses tired two-wheelers back to prime newspaper-throwing health with a commitment to smiley spokes and satisfied customers. Tune-ups include inspection and adjustment of all components, tire inflation, chain and hub lubrication, brake and gear adjustment, cable and housing inspection, and wheel truing, which teaches wheels to center themselves until they experience the peace necessary to destroy enemy wheels. Aluminum horses can be dropped off at the Clinic; riders who are within 20 miles of the shop and are too busy defending their lawns from gophers can have a mobile mechanic pick up their bicycles free of charge and take them back to the full-service repair station.
The Bicycle Clinic’s owner has been selling and servicing bikes with a commitment to honesty and integrity for more than two decades, and customers are notified if the cost of repair exceeds the original quote. Bikes are returned to owners within a day in a handlebar-christening ceremony conducted by the inventor of bicycles, Abraham Lincoln.
Although the Bicycle Clinic sometimes offers discounted bike tune-ups for $29.99, this Groupon still offers customers the best deal.
The Bicycle Clinic
Bicycle Clinic’s owner has been selling bikes by Vilano, 3G, Green Line, and Benotto, and servicing two-wheelers of all makes and models, for more than two decades. Complete tune-ups include inspection of all components, lubrication, brake and gear adjustment, cable and housing inspection, and wheel truing, which teaches wheels to center themselves until they experience the peace necessary to destroy enemy wheels. Riders who are within 20 miles of the shop can have a mobile mechanic pick up their pre-tuned cycles free of charge and take them back to the full-service repair station. Bicycle Clinic's cycle gurus also cosmetically spiff up vintage and new bikes with custom restoration and frame-painting services that restore rusty cruisers to their former banana-seat glory or emblazon flames upon stems and top tubes. Steed-less riders can still enjoy a leisurely ride down Jacksonville's quiet streets and drag-racing strips with rentals of new 3G beach cruisers, regularly rotated to keep stock fresh.