For centuries, the only way to whiten one's teeth was to drink paint primer or leave teeth out in the desert for a few weeks and hope a roadrunner didn't steal them. Guard chompers from speedy, sticky-fingered fowl with today's Groupon: for $39, you get one 20-minute teeth-whitening session at Bleach Bright Smiles in the Westfield-Eastridge Mall in Gastonia (a $129 value).
The grin curators at Bleach Bright Smiles, armed with safe BleachBright gel, clear mouthpieces, and blue-light emission LED lights, set out to whiten tooth collections up to two to eight shades. Under a precisely calibrated glow, a carbamide-peroxide solution attacks evidence of coffee, bilberry wine, and permanent markers that have scuffed dental façades over time. After about half an hour, you'll be ready to go home and illuminate the room with your smile during power outages and solar eclipses.
246 N New Hope Rd.
Gastonia, North Carolina 28054