Every now and then, humanity experiences a drastic improvement in overall health, whether from the discovery of penicillin or the fact that it no longer hires rats as health inspectors. Acquire the energy for the next leap forward with today’s Groupon: for $59, you get one natural detoxification and metabolism-enhancing session at Dr. Sean Patterson's Body Restore in El Dorado Hills (a $129 value).

Under the supervision of Dr. Sean Patterson, DC, Body Restore holistically tailors its treatments to give each stressed-out, overweight, and underhealthy patient a turbocharged metabolism while purging a backlog of environmental poisons. Each one-hour toxin-busting session starts with an evaluation that reveals the body’s cellular age, toxicity, and body composition, as well as how many bridge trolls have taken up residence inside the liver. Next, the facility's whole-body vibration technology promotes muscle contraction with at least 10 minutes of controlled shaking, rattling, and rolling—increasing muscle tone and bone density while burning fat, improving posture, and clearing your stomach's etch-a-sketch screen.

Finally, the energy-balancing detoxification system soaks feet in ionized water, sending a current of positively charged ions through the body to bind to negatively charged toxins and to channel them out into the saline solution through the feet’s pores. Body Restore clients have reported experiencing a feeling of greater energy and well-being, and those with pain, edema, gout, and swollen joints report immediate relief.