Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into a frozen tundra, then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat your devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get an initial orthodontic examination, plus $1,500 to put toward a teeth-straightening treatment (Invisalign or braces), at Boschken Orthodontics (a $599 value). This Groupon can be redeemed at one of three orthodontic centers in San Jose, Mountain View, and Los Altos.
Under the watchful eye of elite provider Dr. Boschken, an Invisalign procedure straightens crooked chompers through a combination of highly advanced, 3-D computer graphics and the spells of good old-fashioned orthodontia. The process eschews cumbersome braces for clear, removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial exam, including x-rays, photos, and impressions (a $300 value) of your mouth's terrain, will pave the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths that are designed to slowly shift your walnut crackers into perfect alignment. The total cost of an Invisalign treatment varies with each customer (starting at around $5,200 for 6–8 months); this Groupon gets you $1,500 to put toward that final cost. The credit can also be used toward traditional braces (starting at around $4,800 for 12 months).
The posttreatment Nite White gel whitening (two boxes/customer) ensures that newly realigned pearly whites proclaim their newfound unity with dazzlingly white matching uniforms (a $299 value). Depending on the client’s teeth, as few as 12 or as many as 60 separate Invisalign aligners will need to be worn over a period of 6–18 months before the straightening effect finally self-actuates in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Aligners are only removed when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw.