People often check to see if they’re sick by placing a hand on their forehead, gauging how warm it feels, and giving the hand back to its rightful owner. Feel your spirit’s forehead with today’s Groupon: for $240, you get one Resonant Field Imaging (RFI) session at Brain Equanimity Center in Malibu.
Brain Equanimity Center uses experimental RFI technology to measure bodily and brain bioenergy fields to produce a full-color analysis of each client’s physiological measurements and psychological profile. Armed with years of aura-scrying experience and a handheld frequency counter, a technician will noninvasively measure the frequencies of 40 areas on the body and brain as clients comfortably stand or hold a handstand for 30 minutes. The field image readings focus on bioenergy, electromagnetic energy, and endocrine points along the spine. The specialist will sit down with the client and go over their results, which lay out the body's overall condition and the Brain Equanimity Center’s interpretation of energy-field imbalances. After the entire 90-minute session, clients may be referred to doctors or practitioners for follow-up treatments or to Professor Xavier’s Institute for Higher Learning.
This procedure does not diagnose any physical, emotional, or mental problems or diseases. Only licensed physicians, psychologists, or therapists are allowed to diagnose or treat patients.