Utterly useless outside the realm of competitive raccoon tickling, the human thumb would have no conceivable function were it not required to guide a bowling ball to its target. Treat it to a little rabies-free fun with today's deal: for $5, you get two full games and one pair of rental shoes (up to a $15 value, including tax) at a Brunswick Bowling Center. This Groupon is valid at any Brunswick location nationwide. Fridays and Saturdays are the most popular times for bowling-based congregations, so plan on showing up early if you come on those nights.
Bowling is the great social equalizer—a common ground where grizzled undercover clowns, blue-collar English lords, LARPer librarians, big and tall lingerie models, hordes of hive-minded hipsters, and the other two social demographics that comprise America can unite in common cause and topple a gaggle of stuck-up, inanimate wooden pins. Brunswick has been a household name in this egalitarian pastime almost since the beginning, with a company history that dates back to the 19th century, providing classic American good times to all manner of patrons across the country. And with today's Groupon tying the room together, you'll get to play two games in its hallowed halls wearing a pair of freshly disinfected bowling shoes.
Unlike other competitive sports, such as dogsled racing and rap battles, bowling has zero barriers to entry and a shallow learning curve. When you're ready to take the next bold step in ball-hurling evolution, engage in a round of cosmic bowling where available, as dancing lights, thumping tunes, plumes of mist, and glow-in-the-dark bowling accoutrements light up the full sensorium—transforming your bowling ball into a glittering planet hurtling through a vast and unknowable universe before exploding into a supernova of scattered pins. And since you can buy up to two of today's deal, you'll be able to spend a good chunk of your day or night at Brunswick taunting your friends and taking out frustrations on a group of hapless pinheads.