Utterly useless outside the realm of competitive raccoon tickling, the human thumb would have no conceivable function were it not required to guide a bowling ball to its target. Treat it to a little rabies-free fun with today's deal: for $5, you get two full games and one pair of rental shoes (up to a $15 value, including tax) at Brunswick Bowling Center. This Groupon is good at any of the Toronto-area Brunswick locations in Mississauga, Kitchener, and Brampton. Fridays and Saturdays are the most popular times for bowling-based congregations, so show up early if you come on those nights—or be prepared to wait and engage in a little recreational noshing at the full snack bar.
Bowling is the great social equalizer—a common ground where grizzled undercover clowns, blue-collar English lords, LARPer librarians, satyrs, hordes of hive-minded hipsters, and the other two social demographics that comprise Mensa International can unite in common cause and topple a gaggle of stuck-up, inanimate wooden pins. Brunswick has been a household name in this egalitarian pastime almost since the beginning, with a company history that dates back to the 19th century, providing classic good times to all manner of dames, gents, and wee little ball-boys and ball-girls throughout the land. And with today's Groupon uniting the people in a flurry of ball-hurling fun, you'll get to play two games (up to a $10 value) in its hallowed halls wearing a pair of freshly disinfected bowling shoes (up to a $3.99 value). Each of the arena-esque alleys features between 32 and 48 lanes, so fear of arriving and finding yourself laneless is possible but minimal, like an Antarctica-sized asteroid landing exactly on Antarctica.
Unlike other competitive sports, such as dogsled racing and rap battling, bowling has zero barriers to entry and a shallow learning curve. And since you can buy up to 10 of today's deal, you'll be able to spend a good chunk of your day or night at Brunswick taunting your grandma, teaching your tot a tried-and-true pin-dropping technique, or re-romancing your bowling-minded beloved.