What You'll Get
Utterly useless outside the realm of competitive raccoon tickling, the human thumb would have no conceivable function were it not required to guide a bowling ball to its target. Treat it to a little rabies-free fun with today's deal: for $5, you get two full games and one pair of rental shoes (up to a $15 value, including tax) at Brunswick Bowling Center. This Groupon is good at any of the Toronto-area Brunswick locations in Mississauga, Kitchener, and Brampton. Fridays and Saturdays are the most popular times for bowling-based congregations, so show up early if you come on those nights—or be prepared to wait and engage in a little recreational noshing at the full snack bar.
Bowling is the great social equalizer—a common ground where grizzled undercover clowns, blue-collar English lords, LARPer librarians, satyrs, hordes of hive-minded hipsters, and the other two social demographics that comprise Mensa International can unite in common cause and topple a gaggle of stuck-up, inanimate wooden pins. Brunswick has been a household name in this egalitarian pastime almost since the beginning, with a company history that dates back to the 19th century, providing classic good times to all manner of dames, gents, and wee little ball-boys and ball-girls throughout the land. And with today's Groupon uniting the people in a flurry of ball-hurling fun, you'll get to play two games (up to a $10 value) in its hallowed halls wearing a pair of freshly disinfected bowling shoes (up to a $3.99 value). Each of the arena-esque alleys features between 32 and 48 lanes, so fear of arriving and finding yourself laneless is possible but minimal, like an Antarctica-sized asteroid landing exactly on Antarctica.
Unlike other competitive sports, such as dogsled racing and rap battling, bowling has zero barriers to entry and a shallow learning curve. And since you can buy up to 10 of today's deal, you'll be able to spend a good chunk of your day or night at Brunswick taunting your grandma, teaching your tot a tried-and-true pin-dropping technique, or re-romancing your bowling-minded beloved.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Jan 31, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 10 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Not valid for reservations. Subject to availability. Valid at listed locations only. Valid toward cosmic bowling. Not valid with packages or other offers. Redeem starting 7/31. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.