Unlike speedy in-and-out coffee shops, cafés indulge fantasies of sneaking off through misty European streets paved with pain au chocolat and lined with gingerbread-biscotti parking meters. For $10, today's Groupon to Café Noir strews the streets of Metairie with $20 worth of breakfast pastries, custom paninis, specialty drinks, and locally brewed Abita coffee.
Whether you're stopping in during an early morning shopping spree or killing time before killing your evil mirror-universe double, Café Noir's menu can power you up with caffeine and life-sustaining bites. Sip a hot, freshly brewed 12 oz. cup of joe ($1.75) to keep your senses sharp, or cool down on a hot afternoon with a 12 oz. iced coffee ($2) or mocha ($3.50). Breakfast is available all day at Café Noir, so savor the freshly baked pastries ($1.49–$2.49) or soft, tongue-cushioning waffles ($4.99) whenever your whims decree it. For a power lunch, crush your appetite in the panini press with a Cuban (pulled pork, swiss cheese, pickles, and mustard, $6.49) or triple-cheese panini (melted cheddar, swiss, and mozzarella with green onions, $4.99), or sample the mini crawfish and meat pies ($6.99). For a dinner of delightful nibbles, pair some black and bleu sliders (Angus beef, bleu cheese, bacon, and vinaigrette, $3.49) and crisp pita flats topped with grilled chicken ($5.99) or pulled pork ($5.49) with a delicious Purple Haze Abita beer ($3.50). Café Noir has a select wine list for the caffeine-dodging purveyors of café cuisine, so sample a glass of Martin Codax Albarino ($9), Arancio merlot ($6), or sparkling Spanish Freixenet ($12) before dashing off.
Use your Groupon to secure a small moment of tranquility and Old World simplicity while dining amid deep purple walls, intimate lighting, and chocolaty wood, or take advantage of the to-go service and get the edge on other less savvy, calorically depleted pedestrians, easily defeating them in the pursuit of the latest sale, the 400-meter dash, and dodging oncoming traffic.