Bodies, like planets, experience wear and tear from weather, time, and astronauts continually planting national flags. Keep the lunar surface smooth with today’s Groupon for non-invasive skin-tightening treatments at Canadian Beauty College in Mississauga. Choose from the following options:

• For $75, you get one non-invasive skin-tightening treatment (a $250 value).
• For $135, you get two treatments (a $500 value).
• For $195, you get three treatments (a $750 value).
• For $240, you get four treatments (a $1,000 value).

During non-invasive skin-tightening treatments, Canadian Beauty College’s certified technicians use FDA-approved radio frequencies designed to generate collagen and elastin and shrink fat cells. The treatment, which uses the Venus Freeze MP2 and varies from 10 to 40 minutes depending on the body part, tackles recalcitrant skin dimples on a chosen area from northern shores such as the face, neck, back, or arm’s back; midland territories such as the stomach, hands, and side abdominals; and the nether protectorates such as the front or back thighs, calves, or peg legs. Touting visible effects after a single treatment, the smoothing service can result in tighter skin, a contoured body, better circulation, and requests for sleekness advice from passing dolphins.

The well-supervised Canadian Beauty College students who administer the treatments benefit from strict training and up-to-date equipment, as well as a board of directors that includes doctors, nurses, plastic surgeons, and a cardboard cut-out of Academy Award winner Steven Spielberg. No preparation, recovery time, or post-procedure cooling is required.