Since the invention of inflation, prices for groceries have skyrocketed and rivers have become traversable. Enjoy the scenic side of economics with today's Groupon: for $15, you get two admissions to a guided canoe tour from Canoe Evansville (a $30 value).

Safety-certified guides lead their human-powered flotillas on tours down meandering paths of natural wonder, educating paddlers about the local wildlife and riparian ecology of the Evansville area. Pleasure-seeking pairs can escape the stresses of the city without traveling far, as the tour’s waterways pump aquatic lifeblood straight through the heart of Evansville and serve as a wildlife oasis. Intimate groups of six or Troy-bound armies of up to 28 can take to the gentle currents on a daytime tour highlighting Pigeon Creek’s wildlife, from its majestic birds and waterfowl to its feral psychic Pokémon. Moonlight paddles highlight the area’s active nocturnal ecology, with tours at Hovey Lake weaving through a half-submerged forest of bald cypress trees and trips through the Blue Grass Fish and Wildlife Area offering a glimpse into Loon Pit, a designated nesting area and asylum for deranged waterfowl.

Canoe Evansville provides all transportation, canoes, paddles, and life vests for every tour, and guides instruct newcomers in the basics of canoeing before groups leave from the Wesselman Woods Nature Center. A subsidiary member of the Wesselman Nature Society, this education-oriented tour program aims to cultivate an appreciation of local nature and a healthy respect for the tyrannical river god.