According to Newton's Fourth Law, the more you drive your car, the more debris it attracts—repelling aerodynamics, the opposite gender, and gravity itself. Smooth your horseless carriage with today's deal: for $25, you get a package of five manager's-special car washes (a $50 value) at Car Wash King in Noblesville. Buy up to five of today's Groupon and get your car washed again and again and again, until the Groupon expires in six months.

Car Wash King is a full-service car wash and detail center staffed by industry professionals who only break into organized song and dance every seven years during the seventh lunar month. With today's Groupon stuck to a grimy windshield, you'll receive a package of five manager's-special washes for your filth-coated vehicle, whether it be a sedan, a mini-van, or the last unicorn. The manager's special includes an exterior wash, a spot-obliterating rinse, a flush for the oft-neglected underbody, a rust inhibitor, a fashionably clear-coat sealer, and a heated dry-down for the shivering autobody.

Most people wait until their car develops its own ecosystem before deciding that it's time to clean. A sparkling car is more than a confidence boost, since you never know when you might have to drive your boss to an across-town meeting or an entire carload of Howard Hughes clones to a secret airport. Today's deal eliminates the need for constant apology on your unexpected drive; instead, let your passengers apologize to you.