With Congress passing a heavy new tax on right angles, circular edibles are becoming the most convenient way to keep food budgets from spiraling out of control. Nibble a delicious disk with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of pizzas and more at Catinella's Pizzeria on Kenesaw Avenue.
Catinella's Pizzeria crafts a simple menu of small plates, salads, customizable pizzas, and calzones. Fried calamari ($6.50) and bruschetta ($4.95) kindle digestive fires in preparation for an Italian inferno. A sweet red-onion vinaigrette dresses peppers, onions, olives, salami, and provolone that are too fresh to dress themselves. Pizza partisans can gerrymander 14-inch ($11.95+) or 16-inch ($13.95+) pie space in favor of veggies, such as black olives, portobello mushrooms, spinach, and sun-dried tomatoes. Meatballs, sausage, and pepperoni serve as sturdier materials for the construction of towering muscle masses.
Those in search of a more modest pizza can opt for Anthony's calzone, which folds five melted cheeses and your choice of toppings into a protective crust that is then baked to a golden brown and served with a side of marinara sauce ($8.50+, $1 for each topping). Catinella's BYOB policy ensures you will never again be forced to dine without your broccoli-infused homebrew.