Dental cleaning involves a lot of tooth polishing and plaque removal, unlike professional boxing, which involves a lot of plaque polishing and tooth removal. Avoid the perils of tooth-bashing pastimes with today's Groupon: for $69, you get a dental exam, cleaning, and digital x-rays at Century Dental Center (a $362 value).

Dr. Patrick Dorman draws on his 20+ years of experience to perform custom cleanings, and wayward and delinquent teeth quickly fall in line at the command of Dr. Bradford Allen—who moonlights as a captain in the U.S. Air Force. Together, Century's two devout dentists hunt for cavities, seeking out muddy tracks of plaque to gently scrape away with their advanced instruments. At times, ultrasonic scalers are employed to loosen the grip of codependent plaque, and a fluoride treatment helps to harden tooth enamel with the concentrated power of a toothy Tesla coil. Medicated gels and prescription mouth rinses sometimes supplement the treatments, which are customized on the basis of each patient’s gum and bone health. Digital bitewing and panorex x-rays minimize radiation exposure and maximize the efficacy of each diagnosis, posing teeth for flattering portraits to aid in diagnosis and send to their distant dentine relatives during the holidays.