Without a seasonal cleaning, bodies won’t have room to house Thanksgiving turkeys or the piles of leaves that need to be eaten off the front yard. Free up some space with today’s Groupon to Cleansing Day Spa in Brooklyn. Choose from the following options:

• For $25, you get one colonic (a $55 value).
• For $39, you get two colonics (a $110 value).
• For $15, you get a 25-minute ion foot detox (a $30 value).<p>

At Cleansing Day Spa, the knowledgeable staff instructs clients on how to deliver self-administered colonics with a comfortable Colenz hydrotherapy machine. Once nestled atop the equipment’s cushioned backrest and curved-leg bolster, patrons insert a slender, flexible rectal tube that introduces water into the body. The temperate water is quadruple-filtered and screened for scraps of pro-Bolshevik propaganda, and it hydrates colon walls during a series of fills and releases that soften impacted waste and stimulate the body’s natural peristalsis. Throughout the 40-minute treatment, waste is cleanly and efficiently evacuated into a recessed basin, where jets of water wash it away. An experienced hydrotherapist will be on standby for any questions. Afterward, patrons can renourish their bodies with a packet of complimentary supplements and an edible poster of the food pyramid.

Clients can opt for an alternative point of toxin eviction with the ionic foot detox. The treatment safely submerges both feet into a soothing bath of ionized water. The ionizer directs an undetectable, low-level current through the bath, moving negatively charged ions into the skin where they draw out positively charged metals and other harmful substances with the promise of a candy bar. By the end of the 25-minute session, neutralized and expunged toxins drawn from various organs surround toes, easily identifiable by their icky color.