Your body is a temple, and it sometimes needs a good dusting of the ductwork to make especially devout microbes take their leave. Tend the temple and polish the pipes with today's Groupon: for $59, you get one colon-hydrotherapy session at Cleansing Waters in Westfield (a $125 value).
Donna Schmidt, a registered nurse certified by the International Association for Colon Hydrotherapy and Cleansing Waters' resident colon-cleansing guru, refreshes the body's trash compactor using the Angel of Water system, an FDA-approved treatment. During the approximately 35-minute session, a sterile nozzle dispenses gravity-fed 100-degree water to foster the repeated evacuation of toxins and waste more effectively than shouting at the stomach through a megaphone. Patients recline comfortably in the private, sanitary treatment room as the irrigation process breaks up colon clogs during a treatment said to be both soundless and odorless, and the certified practitioner monitors the entire session to ensure a safe, comfortable clearing. Unlike a traditional enema, hydrotherapy can brush up the entire length of the colon with minimal discomfort or pain, and clients can confidently return to work, school, or tuba practice almost immediately after treatment.