Without proper calibration, faces run the risk of misfiring coy winks and shy smiles at unsuspecting parole officers. Ensure clear signal sending with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a facial at Coiffure NU in Gatineau, Quebec (a $70 value).

At Coiffure NU, visage-smoothing facials begin with a deep cleaning to clear the face of dirt, oil, and debris. Skin is then buffed to a radiant state with an exfoliating and extracting treatment and sealed with a customized facial mask that restores balance to an off-kilter frontispiece and replaces any clingy umpire masks. Treatments last one hour, ample time to teach the face to smile in at least three different languages. Free WiFi grants patrons the freedom to peruse the Internet before, during, and after treatments. Those without laptops can fill vacant lap space with a purring robot cat or can let ocular orbs bounce off the polished white floors and the fresh flower bouquets dotting the sunlit studio.