Without teeth, tongues would slither out of mouths and go on to lead unfulfilling lives catching raindrops and licking strangers' faces. Keep a stir-crazy taste muscle contained in a gleaming cage with today's Groupon: for $179, you get a Zoom! teeth-whitening treatment at Comfort Dental Care Center or Arbor West Dental Center (a $600 value).

The knowledgeable staffs at Comfort Dental Care Center and Arbor West Dental Center use cutting-edge equipment to treat a wide array of mouth-based maladies within a bright, comfortable environment. Zoom! whitening is a one-time treatment for reversing the staining effects of coffee, cigarettes, or controversial cofferettes. In about one hour, your cuisine crushers will be brightened up to eight shades whiter. After a brief preparation during which the lips and gums are tucked beneath a rubber guard, dentists coat teeth with a bleaching gel and then blast them with the Zoom! light during three 15-minute sessions. Part science, part chemistry, and part sorcery, the Zoom! treatment is a safe, effective way to redefine your happy face.