Like a good roommate, a well-maintained computer doesn’t toss its cookies, send embarrassing emails to your entire contacts list, or attempt to crack top-secret government codes. Keep computers in line with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get a complete computer scrub and data backup at CompRx (a $98 value).

The team of certified technicians behind CompRx draw on 12 years of experience to rehabilitate sickly computers and patch up tortured human-technology relationships. Each same-day therapeutic session begins with a comprehensive computer scrub that washes away nests of digital parasites, ferrets out viruses, and evicts squatting spyware, adware, and unflattering underware. Next, the circuitry czars round up, duplicate, and file all data into backed-up security on each owners’ choice of CDs, DVDs, or external devices (not included). Computers emerge from the operating room raring to roam the web and shower their owners with cryptic binary thank-you notes. This deal is ideal for rejuvenating your Mac, a loved one’s PC, or a bitter enemy’s HAL that is encroaching on your turf.