Paintball is a lot like chess in that both require complex strategizing and both are almost impossible to win against autonomous robots. Rise above our android brothers with today's Groupon: for $26, you get a paintball session for two, including two all-day field passes, equipment rental, and 500 paintballs to share at Conder's Paintball in Elizabethtown (a $52 value).
Aided by high-tech equipment, Conder's Paintball's sharpshooters wage multichromatic warfare across a handful of different paint-splattered fields. After donning Conder's Paintball's protective gear and splitting up a shared stockpile of ammunition, pairs of players invade strategic nooks dotted across more than 80 acres of lush Kentucky wilderness. Sweep through an urban cityscape replete with 50 buildings, dodge incoming salvos behind the speedball fields’ ultimate air bunkers, or decamp to the confines of the compound’s indoor arena. Condor’s Paintball’s seasoned staff adheres to rigorous safety standards, with referees on hand to answer questions, ensure fair play, and settle disputes over the legality of tie-dye camouflage.
Though not included in today’s Groupon, Condor’s Paintball fills post-match bellies with grilled delectables from their pro shop. Between bites, players peruse shelves stocked with high-tech gadgetry, stocking up on extra ammo ($12/500 rounds), replacement parts, and hand grenades filled with semi-gloss paint.
The paintball player stops to think, his marker poised for battle. He planned his strategy perfectly, but he hadn't counted on the leaves. Crunching beneath his feet, they threatened to betray him at any moment. If he could just make it to the fort, he would be safe enough to come up with a new plan. At 50 yards away, there’s no sign of the enemy. At 25 yards, he’s still good. But at 5 yards, a nearby tree rustles. Mere steps away from the fort, he hears a twig break—a shout erupts, and a swarm of paintballs fills the air.
Spread across 80 acres, Conder's Paintball's fields set the stage for just such scenario games, tournaments, and parties that put players right into the action. At the facility’s urban-city field, nearby trees cast shadows over 50 buildings where players hide behind walls and prepare to attack. Two woods-ball fields take games deep into the forest, whereas an indoor arena blankets its dirt floor with inflated triangles and cylinders. Before these games, players can stop by the heated pro shop and gear up for battle with camouflaged clothing, goggles, and paintball markers or reenergize with burgers, hot dogs, and sports drinks.