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Everyone knows that Swedes use a lot of oils in their famous massages, but did you know that Sweden is the world’s second-largest consumer of lubricating oils? A 2006 study in The American Examiner of Suspicious Swedish Behavior reported that Swedes annually consume 1,460 gallons of lubricating oils per person. That comes out to exactly four gallons per person per day (leap year not factored in to avoid over-complication). And taking into account that children require less oil to become slick, it appears that adult Swedes may be lathering themselves with up to 12 gallons a day.
To non-Swedes, that number may sound high; but in a country driven by the Swedish massage, ABBA, and general sexiness, it’s right on par.
Here’s the typical oil-usage schedule of an average Swedish family of four on military time:
05:30 - Wake up, full-body soak in vat of scalding oil (300 gal., one-time use)
06:30 - Family massage (5 gal.)
10:15 - Breakfast
10:30 - Period of quiet thought (3 gal.)
12:00 - Operate a massage parlor from back of Smart car (1 gal.)
13:00 - Leave work
13:15 - Exercise
13:30 - Period of slightly louder thought (4 gal.)
20:00 - Go to bed (3 gallons—the average Swedish family uses vinyl sheets)
If you’re interested in living like a Swede, check out today’s deal on an incredible Swedish massage. If their lifestyle frightens you, go with the deep tissue. Either way, you get an awesome massage for a full hour.
Today’s Groupon serves up a 60-minute massage for $50 (52% off the usual $105 price) at Core de Vie, 40 Charles St. Core de Vie is one of Boston’s premier health and wellness centers that offers a wide array of relaxation methods, including integrated pilates, gyrotonic, yoga, acupuncture, facials, and, of course, luxurious make-you-melt massages. Your Groupon gives you a choice between two techniques:
- Relaxation Massage: The classic Swedish massage. A healthy dose of long strokes and hearty kneading. Great for relieving soreness by stimulating and lengthening muscles, and increasing circulation.
- Deep Tissue: Penetrates and stimulates buried muscle fibers and connective tissues with extra pressure. Slower, focused strokes put your body in the ultimate state of relaxation.
When your session is up, don’t forget to check out the clothing boutique if you’re in need of stretchy, highly flammable activewear.
Core de Vie gets high marks from people of the Internet. Here’s a sampling of their e-thoughts:
- “i love this place! a friend referred me here, and i was hestitent [sic] as [sic] first because when i think of those kind of places the women tend to intimidate me. But i couldn’t have been more wrong!! the women who work here are the nicest people i have ever met.” – Lacey D., Citysquares
- “Ellen and Mark Comerford have created gyrotonic/pilates/yoga nirvana at Core De Vie. Walking in their front doors is like walking into Mary Poppin’s hand bag….it just keeps going.” – Tara M., Yelp