Scientists agree that due to pure water’s neutral pH level of 7, its consumption increases chances of being struck by lightning while winning the lottery. Get money to burn with today's Groupon to Corpell's Water. Choose from the following options:
- For $69, you get a pickup water package, which includes a reconditioned water cooler (a $100 value), five 5-gallon bottles of water (a $5.49 pickup value each), and two personal stainless-steel water bottles (a $9.99 value each; a $147.43 total value). Buyers may add delivery to this deal for an additional $10 by contacting Corpell's.
- For $29, you get home or office delivery of 12 5-gallon bottles of water (a $7.25 delivery value each) and a personal stainless-steel water bottle (a $9.99 value; a $96.99 total value). Deliveries must be scheduled in minimum increments of three bottles, which typically equals a one-month supply.
- For $25, you get a punch card for 10 5-gallon bottles of water (a $44.90 value) and five bags of Clear Ice (a $2.49 value each) for pickup (a $57.35 total value).
Awarded a certificate of excellence in manufacturing from the Canadian Bottled Water Association, Corpell's Water purifies life's most essential liquid through a 10-step process that includes reverse osmosis, UV sterilization, and ozonation using only stainless-steel or food-grade piping. Hourly in-house and random weekly tests by an outside lab ensure a 99.99% pure product, which is free from microorganisms and vengeful pirate spirits, before bottling. Those with access to cars, trucks, or covered wagons can also stockpile their aqua reserves with the 10-bottle punch card, which accessorizes clean water with five bags of clear ice.
Reconditioned Crystal Mountain, Glacier, Alpine, Addico, or Elkay coolers equipped with room-temperature and cold-water taps provide sippers with hydration to combat summer heat or winter sauna attacks. Delivery spans throughout Winnipeg and to the U.S. and Ontario borders, as far west as Brandon and as far north as Ashern, and doorstep drop-off can be arranged. Each five-gallon bottle requires a $10 deposit, and empties may be swapped out at pickup or delivery. Today's deals do not cover distilled water.